JIWA

tercalar dihujung luka

kerana jiwa yang berpaling

mengejar dunia impian

yang kini utama berbanding tempatnya

berapa harga yang perlu dibayar

untuk janji yang ditinggalkan

untuk kata yang dibiarkan

untuk kasih yang disisihkan

untuk hati yang dilukakan

jika benar jiwa itu leka dalam mimpinya

maka Engkau titiplah secubit ujian

untuk menjentik jiwa itu

agar mungkin dapat sedikit sedar

asas sebuah kehidupan

yang bernyawa itu merasakan sakit

wahai jiwa yang sentiasa disayangi

semoga dikau merasa sedih dan kecewa

jatuh dan duduk seketika menghitung kiraan Pencipta

agar kau sedar aku juga merasa tempiasnya

walau bukan yang utama jangan dilupa

pada janji yang telah disandarkan pada-Nya

walau bukan yang teratas

namun jangan sekali dibiar menjadi terakhir

SEPI

hadirnya saat dihujung mimpi
selalu sebentar kita meniti
tak mungkin mata bersua lagi
tetaplah tatap walau bukan di dunia ini
separuh jiwa yang pergi
separuh berbaki masih mencari
tangan memberi tidak lagi disisi
kasih dan sayang tidak lagi dikongsi
langkah sudah semusim terhenti
jiwa ini semakin kosong tak berisi
pada tawa, suara dan diri
dan berlalu masa aku masih sepi

JAUH

jika pada kata itu mudah
tidak mungkin rasa itu tetap gundah
jika ada kenangan yang dipegang
mungkin sakit itu tak perlu digenggam
kenapa berlari jika masih perlu mengejar
kenapa berdiri jika akhirnya tanpa melangkah
cerita sedih jangan berduka
ruang itu sentiasa ada dari Pencipta

the truth

here's the truth ladies
being pretty doesn't keep a man
being honest doesn't keep a man
being loyal doesn't keep a man
treating a man good doesn't keep a man
being there for a man doesn't keep a man
caring about a man doesn't keep a man
making an effort doesn't keep a man
paying attention to a man doesn't keep a man
spending time with a man doesn't keep a man.
you could have the best intentions
you could have the most sincere feelings
and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because
the only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you.
you can't force a man to be with you
you can't beg a man to stay with you
you can't love a man into loving you.
with a man you could tell he wants to be kept when the relationship gets hard and he does everything to fight for you because a man only fights for a girl he wants to belong to
so if he isn't fighting for you that means he doesn't want to be kept by you anymore.
the moral of this?
don't hold on to a man who doesn't want to be kept by you.
NO!!! you're not giving up on him
it's him who gave up on you
and it's you who shouldn't waste anymore of your time that you already have
know when it's time to let go
know when it's time to walk away
and know when its time for him to be unkept.

kerana semalam

kerana semalam

jiwa itu rapuh pada kata 

yang akan lurut pada nada

selalu terusik dek mata dan telinga

kerana pada hati tersimpan beribu rasa

demi menjaga hati, menjaga nama

bukan kita mendabik dada

membetulkan salah menafikan silap

sebagai manusia biasa yang penuh dengan emosi

kita siapa untuk lari dari dihakimi

kerana kiri dan kanan itu seiringan

akan sentiasa ada dengan izinnya 

kerana senyuman dan bibir itu berpasangan

yang akan membutir kata dan memberi ketenangan

pada langit biru yang kadangnya kelabu dan memutih

pada matahari yang meredup bersama pancaran

pada hujan rintik yang memberat

pada angin yang menderu dan membelai

sapa lah ia pada jiwa yang terlupa

pada titik kehidupan yang masih berjaga

pada semalam yang tak pernah pergi

datang la selalu bersama hari baru 

agar bisa membawa pengajaran pada hari esok

nothing

siapa sangka i will back again here. bersawang habis sejak 2014. dulu belajar sekarang bekerja. dulu menumpang sekarang berkereta. dulu account pama tetapi sekarang account sendiri. dulu in relationship sekarang married. one thing that never change ialah kuat menangis. pengkahiran dua tahun yang lepas adalah aku pada hari ini. lebih banyak mendiamkan diri, lebih terkenangkan kisah lama, masih cuba mencari jiwa yang kental untuk ditanam dalam diri. begitu masa sangat pantas berlalu. alhamdulillah, berkahwin dengan orang yang sama sewaktu bercinta dahulu. jodoh itu rahsia Allah. 

sepanjang tempoh berlalu ni, ramai kawan2 dah not in blog field. account close, not update. hati ni kadang nak berborak sebenarnya, mungkin lebih kepada ingin meluahkan juga selain Allah. ingin meneruskan bibit-bibit penulisan, ingin membuka semula ruang-ruang juga. pada titian yang kita lalui saban hari, seringkali kita dicuit dengan halangan di pertengahan jalan tapi kita tak pernah mengharapkan ketibaan yang dirai namun biarlah ianya selamat tanpa rasa kecewa. 

always will not be okay

small chatting with little word always fit me when it comes to u.
i thought after so long, my decision come to end when i decide to get over
but one thing that really make me curious become unexpected answer
when i saw the name at the screen.
it hurt me so much until i couldn't find any words.
no words and i'm bout to cry loudly.
i really wish that i cry that night and let everything goes
so you can see that i hurt badly by all the lies.
at one time when u ask me why i stay with him,
entirely i answer that nobody couldn't stand my me
and now the answer that i don't admit earlier is
nobody will loves me as much he do.
thank you for 'the fault in our stars'
the story really open my eyes and show me the really world that people would and wouldn't.
behind the sickness there still thousand happiness and hope.
behind the fallen there still have million laughter and promises.
and few thing i learn that maybe always will not be okay.

xoxo,

dhiazulkfli

long time

long time i'm lost in searching what i call life.
now i'm back but i'm still not sure for good or for bad.
i'm back to restart again.
i'm back to refresh myself.
i'm back not to fix my past.
all that just gonna be my history that i couldn't change.
i'm back for me!!!

selalu

andai masih ada sisa rindu, 

jika masih ada sayang itu, 

jika masih tersentuh dikalbu, 

jika hati sentiasa diselubungi syahdu, 

takkala munculnya wajah itu, 

wajah insan yang ingin kita mahu... 

doaku akan mengiringi dirimu 

SELALU... 

it's okay

it's okay you got a bad grade in studies. 

it's okay you're skinny and don't have beautiful eyes. 

it's okay boys don't whistle or smile at you. 

it's okay that your friends are leaving because 

if they such good friends, 

they'd be sitting with you trying to not make you feel like shit. 

it's okay your parents shout at you, 

their trying their best 

and i don't think they remember how it feels to be a teenager anyway. 

it's okay you feel as though you've lost yourself, 

everybody does from time to time. 

it's okay you're still searching for that missing part of you, 

we all are. 

it's okay to feel alone 

but you must often remind yourself that you're not. 

you must remind yourself that 

you are nice, individual, a replica of nobody else. 

sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past

a girl

i'm just a girl 

whose hair is never right 

who more then once has fallen on her face... 

i'm just a girl 

who can't stop laughing 

at something that happened yesterday... 

i'm just a girl 

who can't stop smiling because for that moment 

everything is perfect... 

but sometimes, 

i'm a girl 

who cries because sometimes nothing is right.. 

sometimes, 

things just aren't meant to be. 

sometimes, 

no matter how bad you want something, 

you gotta let it go... 

'touch up the edges, adjust the tones'